Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
