So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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