I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
