I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Are we still banned from the library?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
