She announced her abortion via fbk
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're like the curious george of whores
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
