Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
