Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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