Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
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She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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