No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
