dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The best revenge is premature balding
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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