i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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