it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
