they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
