I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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