My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize