Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
