How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
