So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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