She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
