Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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