she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
