Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
