Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
