all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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