I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
