Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
