Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
