there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
