Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
