how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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