white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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