she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
