Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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