i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
wow bdsm is so cute
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!