Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
