yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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