We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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