Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well I just put wine in my tea
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize