Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
