I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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