Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
