Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
