Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
