I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you win again, gameday.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
