that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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