That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
