Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
