Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
