her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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