White coat. Heels.
Yo dont text me then not text me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
