We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
