there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
