mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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