Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
