we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
