Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
