It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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