Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the condom got lost in my hair
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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