so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
