i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
