The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
