Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
