i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just pee around me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
