it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
