would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
