i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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