I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
