yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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