guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize